it was like his penis was on wheels.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place