Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing