so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am mentally ready for anal.