you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?