Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.