I seem to have left my pride at pride
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?