Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
