He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
