There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize