Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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