I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
