can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
