someone get that fucking seahorse.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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