Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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