I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
