I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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