Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We need a shit load of segways right now
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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