i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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