the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
