Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
