So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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