You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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