I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
