take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize