is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
