Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
