Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
