Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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