yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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