she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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