just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My bed smells like the plague
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