Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
