Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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