I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
