:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
