..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Mom said you looked used
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
