I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize