You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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