God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
