I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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