Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
