i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
