I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
