Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.

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  (402): Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth. http://tfl.nu/qs80
  Replies (10) Good night (3337) Bad night (982)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation

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  (812): if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation http://tfl.nu/uyko
  Replies (106) Good night (5776) Bad night (1001)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?

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  (217): do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream? http://tfl.nu/z60l
  Replies (3) Good night (2344) Bad night (1093)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics

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  (484): unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics http://tfl.nu/l12l
  Replies (23) Good night (1000) Bad night (2565)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.

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  (646): Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around. http://tfl.nu/mt6p
  Replies (7) Good night (646) Bad night (1383)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.

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  (631): I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis. http://tfl.nu/wmkv
  Replies (5) Good night (1811) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.

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  (719): As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF. http://tfl.nu/ti4u
  Replies (3) Good night (1310) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.

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  (850): Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win. http://tfl.nu/9m9y
  Replies (1) Good night (840) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.

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  (443): 6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego. http://tfl.nu/2reg
  Replies (1) Good night (709) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.

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  (985): No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did. http://tfl.nu/hp4k
  Replies (3) Good night (748) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen

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  (256): I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen http://tfl.nu/i9fp
  Replies (1) Good night (907) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.

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  (832): I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement. http://tfl.nu/0r09
  Replies (1) Good night (685) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.

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  (970): The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese. http://tfl.nu/ftp9
  Replies (4) Good night (521) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety

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  (253): I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety http://tfl.nu/z2jh
  Replies (4) Good night (519) Bad night (194)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.

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  (614): The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys. http://tfl.nu/4zjm
  Replies (4) Good night (464) Bad night (143)

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