ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen