My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
