Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Experience is the best teacher

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  (810): You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish (248): Experience is the best teacher http://tfl.nu/l23g
  Replies (2) Good night (1709) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.

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  (503): i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean. http://tfl.nu/trho
  Replies (19) Good night (6988) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"

  (541): View more from Oregon

  dude.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.

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  (503): this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor" (541): dude. (503): yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating. http://tfl.nu/t5uc
  Replies (21) Good night (835) Bad night (3846)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.

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  (315): Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end. http://tfl.nu/1db0
  Replies (21) Good night (1767) Bad night (4247)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.

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  (401): Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight. http://tfl.nu/8i8j
  Replies (12) Good night (842) Bad night (3517)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.

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  (206): Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive. http://tfl.nu/785o
  Replies (8) Good night (4585) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson

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  (508): this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson http://tfl.nu/oc0q
  Replies (7) Good night (3720) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.

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  (845): She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'. http://tfl.nu/t716
  Replies (3) Good night (1816) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco

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  (414): ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco http://tfl.nu/xqa3
  Replies (9) Good night (3209) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally

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  (203): i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes (203): i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally http://tfl.nu/ln5z
  Replies (3) Good night (748) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?

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  (978): What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ? http://tfl.nu/aya6
  Replies (11) Good night (1479) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.

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  (269): We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable. http://tfl.nu/14d9
  Replies (3) Good night (1539) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.

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  (254): I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits. http://tfl.nu/syex
  Replies (11) Good night (1105) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.

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  (740): New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug. http://tfl.nu/1fsb
  Replies (3) Good night (651) Bad night (211)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.

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  (786): I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun. http://tfl.nu/ptqr
  Replies (0) Good night (381) Bad night (226)

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