Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.

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(586): View more from Michigan

i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning

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(908): View more from New Jersey

he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest

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(203): View more from Connecticut

the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.

(917): View more from New York City

Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."

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(518): View more from New York

Wow. Last night.

(1-518): View more from New York

I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"

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