oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.