There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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