Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
