i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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