is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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