my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Hippo gnu deer
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize