...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
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at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
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He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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