My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
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she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
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You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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