yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
