Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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