oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
