In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
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You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
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I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.