He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.