I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket