none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.