idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
